There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
