Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize