remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize