Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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