He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just found puke in my bra..
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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