If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
