hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
