Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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