absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
