just tell him i said nine months
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
