you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
