i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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