I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
