How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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