Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
