I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
