I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
