and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
