dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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