You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
