how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
