We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I will die if light touches me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You took a bar mat shot.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
