yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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