sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize