butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
id be glad to
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
