I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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