NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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