I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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