you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
