fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
