sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
