we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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