so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She said her name was "party"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
