also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
