I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
