Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize