So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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