"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
