somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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