We won't sleep together?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sorry about my life...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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