we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
