can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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