Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's like God shit irony all over that family
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Let's paint friendship bongs
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize