just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
