I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
