Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
