yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
