So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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