dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Randomize
