he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
