Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
