Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
