i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize