it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
my poor anus
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
