So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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