You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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