Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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