Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
