If that was your dad, he is hot
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
