Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
