I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
