More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
