I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
