Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
