you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Randomize
