We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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