I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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