Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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