I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
